I am in here,

I don’t know where I am. The ones I found here told me it’s called rehab.I am in a rehab,

Far away from what I like,

Seperated from home,from friends, from alcohol, from cocaine,they are all in my brain.

I miss them,

I am shivering because I miss alcohol,

I’m freezing because I can’t reach my cocaine,

Am even loosing my accent.

I miss it when am high,because when am high, I feel like a selfmade millionaire, waiting for life to happen.

I miss it when am high,because when am high,I can’t feel the pain of reality,not even the pain of being beaten by poverty. I miss being high,and seeing like the whole world is below me,like everybody else is under me!

I miss alcohol, I miss drowning in it. I think that’s why my liver is aching.

I miss puffs,I think that’s why am shaking.

Lacking that puff makes me hear voices,”let’s kill him, he stole a lot,he has a gun,he’s a killer,let’s finish him,”

And I feel very alone. Then suicide becomes my only option,

I’ve already cut off my veins,to let the blood flow out of them and let me die. But am not dead yet.

My thoughts are now hurting me, am a captive to them. Am a captive to my own thoughts.

And now, am not going to talk to anybody.

I want to see no one. Not even my friends, not even my brother, not even my mum. No one, I said. Not even the pas… Wait the pastor…I mentioned the pastor, that church guy.

I hear he delivers good words.

I want the pastor. Now!

Get me out of this so called rehab, where am being drugged everyday and being told that I need 3 months to recover.

I don’t need 3 months to recover my salvation.

Call for me the pastor. I want the pastor..

Tell the pastor I want to listen to him. Him alone. I want him to tell me that I’ve not yet lost my hope to addiction.

I want him to remind me that I have a family and a home.

I want him to make me know that am tired of addiction ruling my life.

I want him to rehabilitate me in the church,to teach me how to be close to Christ, how God is faithful, how to treasure myself.

I want to conquer myself, and then conquer the world,

Because missing that addiction life,has made me know that without Christ, I’ll again for the tenth time find myself back to the rehab.





Author: sander_ochy

I am a journalist, a poet, a spoken word artist, a writer, and performer. Life is all I write about. #Freeverse254

2 thoughts on “#InTheRehab”

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