#MaraNgapi

Dear God
Imekuwa long since niongee na wewe
Imekuwa long since nikupe worship na praise
Imekuwa long since nikuambie asanti
Imekuwa long since nikuletee shida za rafiki
Adui
Familia
Na nchi yangu
God, imekuwa long. Nisamehe

God
Ni mara ngapi umetumana good news kwangu but mi hukusnob nakataa kureply?
Ni mara ngapi umeniambia unanipenda nikakosa kujibu nakupenda pia?
Ukacall nikakosa kupick, ukabisha nikakosa kufungua?
Ni mara ngapi umenikumbusha vile ndege wa angani hukuimbia kila asubuhi, vile jogoo huko nje hukusifu kabla ata mi mwenyewe niamke?
Ni mara ngapi?

Ni mara ngapi nimekumbushwa ni wewe ndo ulinisamehe dhambi so long ago yet mi mwenyewe for over ten years nimekeep beef na jirani naskianga tu kulipiza kisasi?
Ni mara ngapi nimefeel mholy kumliko jirani nikakataa kuown up dhambi zangu?
Ni mara ngapi nimepatiana ulichonipea na nikabaki nikiboast na kubrag yet wewe mwenyewe ulinipea silently?
Ni mara ngapi?

Dear God
How many times have you wanted me to do what’s right yet I choose to do what’s easy?
How many times have you presented me with opportunities that tempt me to compromise my character ukiexpect sitafanya but still mi hufanya?

Ni mara ngapi umebless neighbor yangu zaidi yangu ukiexpect nikuwe thankful for the little that I have but instead mi hucomplain?
God
Umenifunza kuwa thankful ata ile time niko stressed up na life but ni mara ngapi mi hufeel sina reason yoyote ya kuwa thankful nikaona tu zile opportunities nimemiss?
Ni mara ngapi?

Ni mara ngapi umetaka nisiworry but still mi huworry na kufanya worries zangu zikae kubwa kukuliko nikadoubt powers zako?

Ni mara ngapi umetaka nijifunze kupitia wengine but instead nimekuwa nikijicompare na wao nikasahau uliniumba nikiwa a unique masterpiece?
Ni mara ngapi?
Ni mara ngapi nimelenga word yako for movies na pleasures za kimwili?
Ni mara ngapi nimeenda against your ways?

Ni mara moooob
Ni mara mob
Ni mara countless
Countless to infinity
But God still
Ni mara mob umekuwa mwema kwangu
Ni mara mob umekuwa wa second chances
Ni mara mob umekuwa God of forgiveness
Ni mara mob umekuwa God of love and mercy
Ni mara mob grace yako imeingilia kati na kunioshea anxieties zangu
Ni mara mob
Ni mara mob umenipenda
Ni mara mob umenipenda
Na ni mara mob unepromise hutaniacha…

Author: sander_ochy

I am a journalist, a poet, a spoken word artist, a writer, and performer. Life is all I write about. #Freeverse254

2 thoughts on “#MaraNgapi”

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